I came across an old un-posted post.
This is what it said:
What I want most right now is the love of my boyfriend. Which is not available.
And I let out a little snicker thing.
More like a sneer.
We none of us wanted a palace: we liked this humming little hell-hole with its atrophied rules and characters, its ogres and mascots. Alan Hollinghurst The Folding Star
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